Frustration

Frustrated, tears brimming my eyes
Head throbbing, thoughts buzzing in my head
Trying to muster all the strength
Focusing my mind on what is pleasant

But dark thought came like a hovering shadow
Like heavy clouds rolling in on a rainy day
Unpromising, all too ready to drench and soak
With the outpouring drops of hatred

What am I? Why am I here?
Gazing around, taking the sights in:
People walking in big strides
Smile splashing out on their faces

Have they any care of the world?
Do they know someone's starving?
Do they see someone's injured?
Do they realize someone's dying?

Then there's another kind -
These people inch with shoulders slump
Eyes cast down, cheeks sunken, fingers knotted
Hopeless. Lost. Despair.

Asking myself what kind of person I am
And I couldn't pick which one I'd wanna be
I don't wanna be Herod
But I don't wanna be a beggar

Questions go unanswered
What am I supposed to do?
Don't offer me mercy
And please don't mock me as well

I started on this quest
And I'll be the one to see it to the end
But please be by my side
Let me know that you're here

I'm not what you think I am
I'm not that courageous
I'm not that compassionate
I'm not that smart

I'm just a stubborn girl
Seeking to please the will of her Love
It may be foolish
It may seem pointless

But you know I try....
So don't leave my side
Bring back my life's ecstasy
Burn me with Your fire of passion again