A time for everything...

"From this weak, broken-winged sparrow,

You have made it to be a strong eagle with the hawk's vision.

From this bruised, trampled rose,

You have made it to be a fresh, beautiful, delightful sunflower.

From this abandoned, lone scarecrow,

You have made it to be a lively, beloved human who breathes....

I am not the same anymore.

You are the ozone amongst the polluted air,

The sun at the dawn which gracefully gives warmth,

The lovely bright morning star,

The mounting moon in the blanketed night,

The oasis in the vast desert to the parched-throat,

And the rainbow after the rainstorm."

This is my true sincere expression towards my spirituality throughout the time I've been adventuring the world with God. There are times when everything seems to be crumbled down and all dark. But there are also times when the Divine intervenes and my teary eyes are able to see the path clearly again. I know I am not a writer nor a poet...but this I wrote to praise Him, to honor Him, to glorify Him and to thank Him...the Lord God almighty...the One who took human flesh and endured all things so that we are saved.

"Jesus, I love Thee".

"To everything there is a season,

A time for every purpose under heaven:

A time to be born, And a time to die;

A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted;

A time to kill, And a time to heal;

A time to break down, And a time to build up;

A time to weep, And a time to laugh;

A time to mourn, And a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones;

A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to gain, And a time to lose;

A time to keep, And a time to throw away;

A time to tear, And a time to sew;

A time to keep silence, And a time to speak;

A time to love, And a time to hate;

A time of war, And a time of peace."

Ecclesiates 3:1-8

In the remembrance of the amazing Grade 2

Man! Second Graders are the coolest, funniest, brightest kids ever! There are 24 of them altogether and each of them is so unique. Today we went on a field trip to "Siam Ocean World" together, and it was a blast! To many people's eyes, they might be loud, wild, demanding but to my eyes they are smart, quick to learn and bright! (though sometimes i need to confess they aren't like that.) This is the picture taken on Halloween's day. People were supposed to dress fancy. Here we have a witch, a baseball player ghost, a bloody monster, a satan, a skeleton and a cat woman, our homeroom teacher - Miss Jenelle.

This is Seven, the funny, waggly boy. He is such a creative person. He loves to innovate things out of his scrap paper. lol But he is amazing. He cracks us up all the time with his innocent face and naivety. Today he has been all about a "managing my pocket money" person. He had 200 baht (that's quite a lot of money for a second grader. when i was 8 i got 50 baht at the most.) for his shopping. After he bought a drink or a snack, he would take out all of his money and counted how many baht he had left. So cute. And the thing that made him upset the most was that the souvenir shop gave him 10 baht change instead of 30 baht. And he loves coffee. Shocking!

Momae and Mind-Girl. Cuties. Mind-Girl is really smart. You could probably compare her to Hermione, Harry Potter's friend. In class, I always see her hands shot right up waiting eagerly to be picked to answer the questions. And she always gets dressed up beautifully when there's a big event. Momae...such a blessing to me. She used to be in esl2 but her improvement, to my eyes, was really big. It turned out that she didn't have to take esl2 anymore for the 2nd semester. She loves to tickle people and grab my bum. Today she told me, "Miss Mink, you have such a cute bum. Why?" My word...why like this? lol

Jenelle, the beautiful and devoted Grade 2 teacher. Thank God I've been asked to help her out. She loves reading, working out, shouting "QUIET!" to her students, watching chicky movies, listening to audio books, Louie Giglio, Som-Tum and chicken. Sad day, she will be leaving on April 5th but it'll probably be a happy day for so many others at home. Jenelle, You ROCK! I love you so much. You are an amazing, magnanimous teacher!

And the girl beside her, Heidi D., a sweet, gentle girl with beautiful sincere smile. Cracks me up all the time because of her thai. lol (Sorry, Heidi. Didn't mean to offend you.) She has such a respectful effort to learn this foreign language which she'll probably never be using it...but who knows. And to be honest she is pretty good. Eh?

Six crazy days...

Six more days of school left at GES. What a blast! It'll surely be packed with a lot of parties, field-trips, games and goodbyes. But I'm not going to be here in Nonthaburi when these things happen because I'm going to Chiang-Mai and other northern provinces with my school for the whole week! Leaving Tuesday and coming back Saturday. Oh time is running short and there're so many more things I want to do...so many people I want to get together before leaving.

It is the time that I have to confront every year. Departing. Leaving memories behind. Future. Hug. Tear. Hope. Love. Someone said to me long time ago that, "To leave is to meet". It is true. It's been an invaluable year of struggle, relying on God, friendship and love. Precious treasure you can find nowhere else.

Wait

It has been almost a whole month, I guess, that I haven't put anything up here at all. Wow...w...I can't believe time has flown by so fast! My teaching at NCA was over for almost 2 weeks now. There are only 2 and a half weeks of school left at GES. And my summer school at college will start pretty soon too. Oh, time never waits for anything. At a moment I thought I would bore myself to death because I didn't have anything to do, but a swift moment later when I look at myself again, there are too many jobs in my hands! What a crazy world! lol

Last two weeks, I got to go to Hua-Hin with a group of teachers. It was such a refreshing time for me. And I will post stories and pictures up pretty soon. But today I just want to welcome you to this Russel Kelfer's prayerful thought through his poem - WAIT

Desperately, helplessly, lovingly, I cried;

quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I pled and wept for clue to my fate…

and the Master so gently said, “Wait.”
“Wait? You say wait?” my indignant reply.

“Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?

By faith I have asked, and I’m claiming your Word.
My future and all to which I relate,

hangs in the balance and you tell me to wait?
I’m needing a ‘Yes’ a go-ahead sign

or even a ‘No’ to which I’ll resign.
You promised, Dear Lord,that if we believe,

we need but to ask and we shall receive.

Lord, I’ve been asking and this is my cry.

I’m weary of asking, I need a reply.”

Then quietly, softly I learned of my fate,

as my Master replied again “Wait.”
So I slumped in my chair defeated and taunt,

and grumbled to God, “So, I’m waiting….for what?”
He seemed then to kneel and His eyes met with mine

…and he tenderly said, “I could give you sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.

I could raise the dead and cause the mountains to run.
I could give you all you seek, and pleased you would be.

You’d have what you want, but you wouldn’t know me.
You’d not know the depth of my love for each saint.

You’d not know the power that I give to the faint.
You’d not learn to see through the clouds of despair;

you’d not learn to trust just by knowing I’m there.
You’d not know the joy of resting in me,

when darkness and silence are all you can see.
You’d never experience the fullness of love,

when the peace of my spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give and I save for a start.

But you’d not know the depth of the beat of my heart.
The glow of my comfort late into the night,

the faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that’s beyond getting just what you ask,

from an infinite God who makes what you have last.
You’d never know should your pain quickly flee,

when it means that my grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,

but oh, the loss, if you missed what I am doing in you.
So be silent my child and in time you will see,

that the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though my answers seem terribly late,

my most precious answer of all is still….wait.”

My friend, Kristin, shared this to me a while ago. And it suited me perfectly during that time. I am not going to say anything because these words have already spoken for me. When you are in the midst of confusion, your eyes are blurred with tears of anger and frustration, remember this God who knows you even before you were born and who loves you so dearly.

Seek and ye will find...God provides more than you can imagine.

Mink ^-^

Battling Soul

Since the morning, the air has been so beachy. Not too hot nor too humid. That gracefully calms my soul, and i thank God for a break from heaviness of weather. I've had quite a quiet day, and it is actually nice. Sometimes i feel like being in people's presence and enjoying the time of fellowship, but so many times i do need the time of meditation, the time of pondering and reflection alone with God. And today is it.

These past few days I have been fighting with confusion a lot. One side of my heart is the Holy Spirit's and the other side is Satan's. I wonder how a man, or in this case a woman, can be dwelled by both. The thing is i'm struggling with the concept of love...(oh yeah...valentine's month). I hear a voice gently speaking, "love your neighbors as you love yourselves", but a swift moment later i hear another evil croaked voice saying, "you haven't received anything back since you gave. why would you still want to love?". And oh, my heart so longingly desires to give love unconditionally like Jesus does, but i'm such a lame and crooked spirit that i don't think i'll be able to accomplish that once. Is this a lie of my life? A lie that tells i am not deserved to be a messenger of love and peace for Jesus?

Very well then, my whole being belongs to Jesus, my Lord, my Savior, my Redeemer...the Owner of my life, I will never give in to the power of Satan. It is dragging me into its trap, into the dirty lie. I will never stop fighting until the day Jesus comes and defeats all under His feet. Though I will lose my life, i will stubbornly and continually fight for God is my strength, my Stronghold, my Tower and my Cornerstone.

Jesus, You are the Lover of my life. No one shall ever take Your place...though a part within me longs for more.

Valentine's Week

Oh, this week has been full of mixtures of feelings and emotions...in a good way though. Valentine's day passed without anything "particularly" special from a male companion, lol, which was totally fine. I've received "more than enough" love from my family, girl and some boy friends and my students. One verse from the bible that stuck in my mind all the time is, "It is more blessed to give than to receive". Some might say that this is a way to comfort oneself, but Jesus' word is forever true. And this ain't a comfort, it's the "truth". Why am I so confident? Because I've tried that!

I found myself being so much in peace when I darted my eyes around the school campus and saw the little girls and boys wearing pink, red and white running around the school with chocolate, cookies and gifts from their friends or teachers. Then I turned my gaze the other ways and saw young teens walking with their "special partners" with one hand carrying a bunch of gifts or flowers and the other hand holding the other's hand. The school was filled with excitement! When I walked back into the staff room, though the normal busy-ness was left lingering there, I could smell the air of happiness, joy and hope. In each teacher's mailbox, that was usually stacked with piles of paper and sraps, there were cute little "Hershey's Kiss" chocolate and notes with scripture like "1 Corinthians 13:4-7" sitting on top of it all. Hugs and kisses were exchanged sweetly and openly.

Even though the longing for a male companion deep inside my heart was still there, I was able to find joy in the midst of my friends' presence and God's overwhelming love. Plus, I know that He will not let me wait for too long. I love writing notes to people so that was what I did this year. I know that it might not be as pricy as chocolate or flowers, but that was from all of my heart I have for each one.

And today with G.4 at NCA, we had the chocolate party because 1) we're on the chapter called, "Chocolate King" and 2) it's the Valentine's week. I told them before time to bring anything chocolaty today to share with their friends. When I opened the door, all my kings and queens (i also had them make their own crowns) were all shaking with eagerness ane excitement. But I guess i was quite a cruel teacher because I didn't let the party begin right away, instead I was talking about what "love" means and how we can show love to others. Some of them were moaning like, "Miss Mink, the time is flying and the bell will ring soon if we're not gonna start". lol Oh well, I am a teacher, ain't I? Then I came up with an idea, which I believe that it was Holy Spirit's work, that we would give away our chocolate stuffs to other teachers and students in the school because there were so MANY! Seriously, my desk was piled up with more than 20 kinds of chocolate excluded milk and drinks. So I divided them into 4 groups and told them to knock on each classroom's door and quietly gave chocolate to the teachers. It was quite a success, I think, because each one came back with smiles and some of them just ran back frantically to grab more because it was not enough for all. That surprised me because they didn't "really" want to give at first. I pray that these children, who have increasinly become growing in my heart, would find the "true love" somehow in their older years.

"And we have known and believed the love that God has for us.

God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him."

- 1 John 4:16

Happy Valentine's Day!

Mink ^-^

P.S. I'll post some pictures from Valentine's Party from last Sunday soon. Stay tuned!

It's All About You, Jesus...

Jesus, Lover of My Soul (It's all about You)

It's all about You, Jesus
And all this is for You
For Your glory and your fame
It's not about me
As if You should do things my way
You alone are God
And I surrender to your ways

Jesus, lover of my soul
All consuming fire is in Your gaze
Jesus, I want you to know
I will follow you all my days
For no one else in history is like you
And history itself belongs to you
Alpha and Omega, You have loved me
And I will share eternity with You

I am so tired. There is no better word to describe my feeling...my exhaustion right now. Tomorrow will be the big day, Valentine's Party. The first significant job since the vote for leaders. It is hard, and I am drained. It's Saturday today, and I really want to go to Newsong, the underground church with my friends...but I just simply can't. So many things need to be prepared and got ready, so many practices. And things seem to go not like I have planned. We may not have the "Prodigal Son" skit because our actors and actress aren't really sure if they can do. There were so few time to practice. The topic I've planned for Small Group will have to be changed. Things just don't go like "my" ways.

Then I was listening to this song I posted up there, and it struck me so hard. It is ALL about God...and not about me. And this is the right way which He wants now.

"Take over everything that I am holding back from You, Lord"

Please pray that all will go as He planned.