I have so many things on my mind right now. And I'm being all by myself with a computer that, apparently, cannot converse with me. So this is a way of redeeming myself in this confusion and loneliness.
Here it comes again. This is probably one of the toughest time of the year. I just happen to be a fortunate person who gets to be a part of this journey along with the other GES teachers. I get to meet new people, establish friendship, learn new things from the other side of the world where i've never been before, experience the "life" outside of my shell, and say goodbye to the ones I love and care pretty much every single year.
But you know, I've only been a part of it. I've watched these wonderful men and women labor on their jobs, struggle with cross-cultural differences and rejoice over their success. Yet I've never been the one who actually experiences it.
It hit me really hard when I sit down and spend time pondering on the situation in my life right now...I am just clueless. It's like I've been taking a walk in this vast jungle on one spring morning...enjoying the birds chirping, the squirrels scurrying from one branch to another, the blooming flowers, the peaceful river...when in all of a sudden, there comes the multiple separated trails. Each one doesn't give me any clear paths. Suddenly I feel helpless and uncertain of the roads ahead.
Now I want to run back to my home sweet home where safety and security are promised. Here are my choices: do I want to continue be a mama's baby, sucking her thumb and begging for food or do i want to become a strong strider of the jungle who unsheaths her sword bravely when danger comes?
Oh, the answer is predictable. I wish for the latter choice. But my question is how do I get there? Really...how do I reach that point when at this present time I am merely clueless.
You tell me.
"Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them." - Psalm 139:16
It is my hope to continue to trust in the Lord's plan even though it seems hopeless, to hold tight to the last string of faith and believe with all my heart that there is something waiting for me out there. My friend, Emily, spoke right into my heart when I was whining about my uncertain future. I moaned, "I just don't know what to do with my future. I don't know." Then she quietly replies, "But God knows."
Yes, God knows. It's no use trying to get all these questions answered in my time. Sometimes it is more thrilling to stand and witness His miraculous work. I don't know where I'm going to be in a year to come. And honestly, I'm scared...but...I'm also excited as well.
"Be still and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!" Psalm 46:10
Here it comes again. This is probably one of the toughest time of the year. I just happen to be a fortunate person who gets to be a part of this journey along with the other GES teachers. I get to meet new people, establish friendship, learn new things from the other side of the world where i've never been before, experience the "life" outside of my shell, and say goodbye to the ones I love and care pretty much every single year.
But you know, I've only been a part of it. I've watched these wonderful men and women labor on their jobs, struggle with cross-cultural differences and rejoice over their success. Yet I've never been the one who actually experiences it.
It hit me really hard when I sit down and spend time pondering on the situation in my life right now...I am just clueless. It's like I've been taking a walk in this vast jungle on one spring morning...enjoying the birds chirping, the squirrels scurrying from one branch to another, the blooming flowers, the peaceful river...when in all of a sudden, there comes the multiple separated trails. Each one doesn't give me any clear paths. Suddenly I feel helpless and uncertain of the roads ahead.
Now I want to run back to my home sweet home where safety and security are promised. Here are my choices: do I want to continue be a mama's baby, sucking her thumb and begging for food or do i want to become a strong strider of the jungle who unsheaths her sword bravely when danger comes?
Oh, the answer is predictable. I wish for the latter choice. But my question is how do I get there? Really...how do I reach that point when at this present time I am merely clueless.
You tell me.
"Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them." - Psalm 139:16
It is my hope to continue to trust in the Lord's plan even though it seems hopeless, to hold tight to the last string of faith and believe with all my heart that there is something waiting for me out there. My friend, Emily, spoke right into my heart when I was whining about my uncertain future. I moaned, "I just don't know what to do with my future. I don't know." Then she quietly replies, "But God knows."
Yes, God knows. It's no use trying to get all these questions answered in my time. Sometimes it is more thrilling to stand and witness His miraculous work. I don't know where I'm going to be in a year to come. And honestly, I'm scared...but...I'm also excited as well.
"Be still and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!" Psalm 46:10
