Today was another day of teaching...and that means G.3 and 4 students over at NCA. I was thinking at first about naming the title as "Tame the Wild". Somehow, it just sounds so crude, and so inappropriate if I was going to talk about kids. So, I changed my mind as you can see.
Never once in my life that I have dreamt of being a teacher, who is supposed to be knowledgable, offering and sacrificing, enduring and patient, loving and lovable. Every teacher in my life "gives" so much. In contrary, when I look at myself, I am not even close to the type (or at least I don't think I am.) Okay, I might have an expertise in using English, but I am not sacrificing enough. I am totally opposite, which means selfish. I can be patient, but at the same time if the situation does not seem better, I am boiling inside and totally ready to explode. And I do not think I am a loving and lovable "teacher".
However, the blessing in teaching is the kids. Even though they are stubborn, crazy, naughty, loud, noisy, disobedient, disrespectful, they are children. Sometimes, I just have a forceful feeling to smack
these kids because they were shouting while I was speaking. But then, when I think back, it makes me laugh. They are simply natural, so naive and innocent. They speak of what they think. They behave and act in they ways they have been taught. They do not pretend. Children are so pure like "white sheet". The picture will turn colorful or dull, alive or lifeless, beautiful or ugly is completely up to the painter. And that is what I am now too...a painter, the unwilling one...
Yet, it reminds me of who I am...I am like those children too. I have my own great Painter, who is now admiring His own painting from somewhere above. He knows my directions. He knows how I feel like crap now. He knows my destination. He knows everything because He intended it to be for the goal of eternity.
In Matthew, Jesus told His disciples about children, "'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.'" The only way these kids can see Jesus is through my life. So, I am praying that He would give me wisdom and understanding in teaching, patience and endurance during the refining process, giving and sacrificing so that His love would reach out to them. Somehow, it's just so hard for me...so hard that I don't think I will ever like this job, let alone love. Yet, in Him everything is possible. What I really need now is the vision in teaching, His love that would fill my heart and bring me through everyday's struggles graciously.
And He said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
these kids because they were shouting while I was speaking. But then, when I think back, it makes me laugh. They are simply natural, so naive and innocent. They speak of what they think. They behave and act in they ways they have been taught. They do not pretend. Children are so pure like "white sheet". The picture will turn colorful or dull, alive or lifeless, beautiful or ugly is completely up to the painter. And that is what I am now too...a painter, the unwilling one...
Up in heaven is the broad blue sky in daylight, and the velvety starry one after the sun says 'good night' to the world. 
